Twelve weeks ago I found myself at the airport, sitting at baggage claim with eight other strangers wondering what the next six months would hold for me. I went into this experience thinking I was going to learn how best to do human trafficking ministry and have the opportunity to talk with girls already in the life. Little did I know that DTS would feel like open heart surgery and that it would be the most challenging three months of my life. If someone told me before I left what DTS actually consisted of, I probably wouldn't have even applied. Each week the Lord uprooted some serious heart issues. One by one my scars were torn open, light was shed on secrets I kept in the dark, and I learned the tendencies of my heart. I've discovered why I view God the way I do and the way I personally get to hear from Him whenever I want to. I've learned the reason we share the Truth and the power of forgiveness. I've learned more in these past three months of my faith journey than I have in the five years since I became a believer. I've learned a lot, but I've also walked through feelings of bitterness, pain, and sorrow. I wouldn't have changed a single thing.
And yet, the most incredible part of it all is the fact that despite how absolutely broken my heart is currently, God is asking me to go to Thailand and the Philippines to love on girls who's hearts are even more broken than my own. I sit here humbled as I write that. What kind of a God would call the most broken people to love others? I'm terrified, anxious, excited, overwhelmed. Literally all the emotions at once. And somehow still God says, “Hey, don't worry little one. Where you end, I begin." My heart flutters at the gentleness and compassion of my Father. He says loving is possible because His son lives within me. He says I can handle the cultural and environmental differences because He can do all things. There is literally nothing at all that can separate us from God and His plan for our lives. It's all been conquered by the one that lives within us. It's mind blowing and continually sends me in awe. I think the greatest takeaway of DTS for me was fully understanding the fact that God desires an intimate relationship with us above all else. We could never do another thing to serve and honor Him for the rest of our lives, and He'd love us just the same. The God of the universe wants nothing more from us than our love and affection. I hope that truth reveals itself to you as powerfully as it did to me, especially if you're anything like I was - constantly feeling like I had to do good things to keep His love for me. I recently heard a quote from John Maxwell that says “People teach what they know, but they reproduce what they are.” I realized something powerful from that: if we produce what we are, how crazy important is it that we know who we are? How many lies do we believe about ourselves? How many of us simply refuse to see the truth of who we are because of what we’ve done in our past? I think that’s the greatest part of DTS. It focused so much on developing who we are in Christ that, no matter where we are emotionally at the end, as long as we understand our identity, we are ready to share God’s love with the world. With that said and continually in our minds, our team is prepared and ready to serve! For the next 10 weeks, I will basically be off the grid. We won’t have our phones with us and will have access to wifi maybe once a week, which is when I will try to give you all an update on the ways the Lord is moving in Thailand and the Philippines! I could not be doing this without all your love and support! Thank you for your prayers and your words of encouragement. If you feel led, please continue to pray for:
I miss and love you all terribly. God seems to be giving me a glimpse of what's next for me, so please be praying for discernment, wisdom, and peace as I pray about the exciting plans the Lord has in store. All my love, Tara
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Archives
December 2016
AuthorTara | 22 | Gordon College '15 Categories |